I Didn't Ask For This
by its-never-lupus
Summary: Don't ask...this is what happens when I get bored over summer break, and get an idea that won't GO AWAY! So I made into a ficcie that spawned another OC to add to my collection! Woohoo...not. Anyways...please read and review, rated for future chapters. I
1. Side Along Apparition

A/N: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I KNOW! I haven't posted anything in forEVER, and here I come with another chaptered fic. It'd be a miracle if I finished ONE of the mofos…but moving on. This story is completely WEIRD, and the weirder thing is that I'm halfway through writing chapter two in my notebook already…that's 'cuz there's practically NOTHING to do in Nebraska in August…except school starting on the 30th! cries Anyways…this is a very long Author's Note, so I'm gonna wrap it up before it's longer than the story. Please read and review!

**I Didn't Ask For This**

**PROLOUGE**

Tick, tock.

Creak, creak.

Snore. Grunt.

Harry Potter lay on his back and listened to the Dursley's house (and the Dursleys) settle around him. Summer was becoming very boring, very quickly. And the sad part was, he'd only been home for three days! He sighed resignedly. It really sucked that he had to live with Muggles, and couldn't use magic outside of school. He wished something interesting would happen.

He would learn to be careful what he wished for.

With a (pop), a girl Apparated into his room. Tripping over her jeans, she cursed, fell flat on her face, and lay there, still cursing fluently.

"This had better be the right fucking room" she muttered, straightening the hem of her 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' T-shirt. She brushed off her jeans, straightened up, and looked around the room. Her eyes fell on Harry, and she gazed at him warily.

"You had better DAMN well be the one I'm looking for" she said, by way of introduction.

"That really depends on who you're looking for, now, doesn't it?" Harry replied cheekily.

She smiled humorlessly, snapped her fingers, and a card appeared in midair. Harry took the card over to his window, since the only light in the room was orange, and coming in from the streetlamp outside.

"Mariah Daniels, Liaison, Salem, Massachusetts" he read out loud. He looked over at her. "What the hell is a 'liaison'!" he demanded.

"Or a messenger, if you prefer. I'm kinda like the Metatron. You know…Alan Rickman in 'Dogma'?"

Nodnod.

"Yeah…like that. I am the voice of The Council."

"The who?"

"The Council" she repeated, as if she were talking to a 4-year-old. "The greatest witches and wizards from all over the world get together twice a year in Salem, to discuss how to better protect the world."

"Oh" was all Harry could really think to say.

"Yep" she replied. "And in answer to your first inquiry, I'm looking for the savior of the Wizarding World. But I believe I've already found him." Then, just as bold as you please, she reached out and brushed the bangs from Harry's forehead.

"I have found him" she murmured, her blue eyes sparkling.

Harry was very confused, to say the least.

"I suppose I should fill you in" she said, taking a seat at Harry's desk.

"That would be nice" he replied dryly, sitting back down on his bed.

Miranda glared at him. "Don't get snippy. Just because you're 'The-Boy-Who-Lived' does NOT make you God Himself."

"Sorry" he said, miming zipping his mouth shut.

"Thank you. Now, The Council has been around since the time of Merlin. As a matter of fact, he helped establish it. Actually, Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw were in on it, too, but somehow, their fame isn't as great as Merlin's in America. Just because they're British, I think…" she trailed off. "It's not something they can help, people!" she muttered, her hands balling into fists. "Anyways…they were established to protect the world from the Dark Arts, Dark magic, and Dark moods." She winked. "Just kidding. As I was saying, The Council is pretty much the be-all end-all magical authority." She sighed deeply again. "But none of them have faced Voldemort as many times as you and lived to tell about it. So…they want your help."

Harry gaped at her. "What? Do I have something in my teeth…?"

"No, no, it's just…you said Voldemort's name!"

"Oh, that. He-well, never mind. I expect you'll find out soon enough why I do. So are you in…or out?"

Harry looked at her outstretched hand. "What did you say I'd be doing again?"

"I can't explain all of it right now. The Council will answer all of your questions when we get there, OK?"

Harry didn't say anything. She looked at him earnestly, almost pleadingly.

"Come on, kid. Let's go save the world."

That seemed to register with him, finally. After all, he'd wanted an adventure, hadn't he? He took her hand, and she pulled him up.

And with a (pop), they vanished.

**END PROLOUGE**

End Note: I know, kinda detail-heavy, but I gotta get it off the ground before anything can happen, right? Of course right! 25 points for the musical that's from!

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**

Much love,

Liz


	2. Teenage Witch With A Cell Phone

A/N: I've decided to change to Harry's P.O.V., because…well, I can! If I get tired of it, we'll go back to this. ((Points to Prologue)) Anywayz…onward and upward!

**CHAPTER ONE**

I despise Side-Along Apparition. It feels like they're squeezing every single breath out of your body, then you land at the very last moment.

"You could've TOLD me you were going to Apparate" I muttered, gulping an enormous lungful of air.

"I left the same way I entered" she said, shrugging. "I couldn't very well go out the front door, now could I?"

I really couldn't think of a response, so I just glared. After I started breathing normally again, I looked around. "Where are we, anyway?" I asked.

"We're in a forest right outside Salem" she replied, lighting her wand tip. "We can't just appear in the town square, after all. A town with a 400-year-old powerfully magical history, and we can't even Apparate there." She sighed melodramatically. "What's the world coming to!" she cried, flinging her arm across her forehead. Then she burst out laughing, and I couldn't help joining in. She flicked her wand once, and some sandwiches, chips, and sodas appeared. "Diet Pepsi!" she yelled. "Oh, I'm good. Getting better, anyway" she corrected, smiling. We ate in silence, owls hooting around us. Then a loud beeping pierced the night, and her hand flew to her pocket.

"Teenage witch…and you have a cell phone" I said, raising an eyebrow at her. She flipped me off and pushed the 'answer' button.

"Hello?...Yes, sir, Professor Dumbledore…He's with me, we're having some food, the journey was a but tiring for him…Yes, sir, Apparition is very tiring for me, too…Yes, sir, we'll be there in about half an hour. Good bye, sir. Goodnight to you, too." She punched the 'OFF' button and turned back to look at me. "Dumbledore got these so we could stay in constant communication even when we're unable to use magic."

She must've noticed the look I was giving her. "We're not asking, not going there" she said, waving her hands as though trying to be rid of the idea.

"OK…where are we going, anyway?" I asked, setting my trash on fire, and letting the wind take the ashes.

"We're going to the site of the last coven that took place over 300 years ago. Powerful magical history, and all that jazz. Don't ask…it wasn't my idea. Actually, I don't think it was Dumbledore's, either. McGonagel got to choose the location for this one, Merlin knows why. I think she had an ancestor at this coven, or something. It's a big deal to her, I guess."

I nodded slowly. "So it is written, so it is done."

"Sure" she said, glancing over at me. "We'll go with that." She brushed off her hands, stood up, and looked at her watch. "Come on, man, we gotta get going, or we'll be late." I stood up too, brushing off my jeans. "And just to forewarn you, you're going to have to Side-Along Apparate again." I groaned and braced myself. She held out her arm, I grabbed it, and with a (pop), we vanished.

* * *

When we arrived at the meeting place, I was so out of breath, I almost passed out.

Again.

Once I got my bearings, I looked around to try to get a sense of who was there. I saw Dumbledore and McGonagel, Snape (to my disgust), and… "Professor Trelawney!" I gasped, looking over at Miranda.

"The great-great-great granddaughter of the celebrated Seer, Cassandra Trelawney" she said in a bored voice. "That woman annoys the HELL out of me. She keeps predicting my more and more horrific death every time she sees me."

I just looked at her. "Join the club. She seems to think I'm gonna die every single week. My friend Ron thinks I'd be an 'extra-concentrated ghost' or something like that."

"She has some self-esteem issues. That, coupled with her pathological need for attention, compels her to predict ludicrous deaths."

I just stared at her.

She blushed, and then shrugged. "So I aced Psychology, what can I say?"

"Yeah, magical powers can help you do that" I said, winking.

She gave me a halfway-offended look. "Actually, I aced that class all by myself, just me and my brainpower. No magic involved whatsoever."

Before I could respond, a shower of green sparks flew into the air, obviously signaling the start of the meeting. Dumbledore, looking every day of his considerable age, stood and raised his hands for quiet.

"Thank you all for coming" he said in his deep, powerful voice. "And a special thanks to Ms. Daniels for going all the way to England on five minutes notice, to collect our guest of honor, Harry Potter."

I could feel myself turning brighter red with each word, I looked over at Miranda, and she was squirming slightly under the gaze of hundreds of eyes. I could also distinctly hear her humming 'What Is This Feeling?' from 'Wicked'.

So shoot me. I love that musical.

"I'm sure all of you are wondering why you have been summoned here today, especially since our last meeting was nearly 40 years ago. Which, I am sure, not all of us recall" he added, winking at the two of us. It was a bit redundant, seeing aw how we were the only wizards there under 40.

"As I believe you all do know, however, the Dark Lord Voldemort is slowly killing off magical leaders the world over. It is our job, as the Council, to put an end to this nightmare, and save any more dignitaries from being eliminated. We have received intelligence from our spy, Severus Snape, that the Indian Minister of Magic is the next target for elimination. Therefore, our investigation will, appropriately, being in India."

He winked at the two of us again, and I heard the all-too-familiar (pop).

Here we go again.

**END CHAPTER ONE**

A/N: Wow, I'm starting to like this little creation of mine more and more, I really am. It's kind of taken on a life and personality of its own, and that's kinda what I was shooting for. I wasn't expecting a lot of reviews to start off, and I wasn't disappointed-I got two. So, those two LOVERLY people get shoutouts! Here we go:

**SHOUTOUTS:**

**Lily Laurelinn: **I am ALWAYS sighing at reality! I'm also wishing a lot for someone to just APPEAR and take me away. Ah, well. Such is not to be. I'm SOOOOO happy you reviewed; you were the first review ever! I'll review your story as soon as I have I time, I'm sure it'll be fantabulous! Thanks for reviewing, much love!

**Saturday:** You can say it. I think Harry's cute when he's intimidated, too. Did you see him in the second movie, when he was facing the snake? I know it sounds kind wrong, but he was sexy for a 13-year-old, or however old he was. And I'm gonna wash my brain out now…LOL! Anyways…yeah, Miranda is kinda part me, part you, part Famous, I think (unintentionally, but now that I think about it, it makes a little sense. LOL!), and a little bit Angelina Jolie, though that bit won't come out until later. LOL! Anyways…I love you SOOO much, thanks for reviewing!

PLEASE REVIEW, I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU DO! I gotta go now…I need to shower before musical practice, which starts at 2:15, which is in…exactly 3 hours. BYE!

((vanishes))

((blue, white, black, and silver glitter falls)) (My school colors)


	3. WHAM!

A/N: OK…there have only been two reviews. But then again…I haven't updated since last **August**. So it's all our faults. It's OK, I forgive you. LMAO! All right, picking up where we left off, Miranda and Harry are Apparating to India to try and protect the Indian Minister of Magic. So, yeah…here we go!

I Didn't Ask For This Chapter 2 

When I could open my eyes and breathe normally again, I looked around.

And found myself in the middle of a very humid jungle. Miranda was sprawled on the ground, not moving, but still breathing. There were gashes on both of our arms, and a little blood on my cheek.

Miranda gave a low groan, pushed herself up onto her knees, and put her head in her hands. "I…hate…Dumbledore" she muttered, standing all the way up.

"It's like a Vanishing Cabinet…minus the cabinet" I said, looking around. She glared at me.

"Thank you, Sir-Points-Out-The-Obvious-A-Lot" she snapped. (A/N: 25 points and a cookie if you can name the cartoon that came from!)

"Hey" I said, noticing something sticking out of her pocket. "What's that?"

She pulled it out and held it up so that we both could look at it. It was a note from Professor Dumbledore.

'_Dear Harry and Miranda,_

_I apologize profusely for whisking you away so quickly. But as I said, time is of the essence. To fill you in a little, you are in the jungles outside New Delhi, India's capital city. You will meet a man just inside the city gates, wearing blue robes and known only to you as 'Punjab'. He will give you some information about the Indian Minister of Magic, and some other pieces of knowledge you might find useful. Send an owl if you need help, or, Ms. Daniels, your cellular phone has international calling included. Marvelous invention, wouldn't you agree? Goodbye, and the very best of luck to you._

_Albus Dumbledore'_

"Oooh, that man infuriates me sometimes!" Miranda burst out, stamping her foot.

Directly onto a rock.

"OUCH!" she yelled, jumping around and holding her foot. I couldn't help a little bit, she looked like a jumping bean.

"Episkey!" she muttered angrily, pointing her wand at her foot.

"Very nice" I said, applauding sarcastically.

She glared at me, then pointed her wand at me and shouted "Petrificus Totalus!"

My arms and legs locked together, and I fell down, unable to move.

"Are we gonna stop making fun of me?" she asked, crouching down beside me. I couldn't respond, so I flicked my eyes back and forth.

"I'll take the eye flick as a 'yes,'" she said, performing the counter-curse.

"Not bad" I muttered, getting up and stretching out my arms and legs.

"I've been practicing," she said, pocketing her wand. She pulled out the scroll, conjured up a machete, and started to hack her way through the dense foliage. She didn't say much until we reached a clearing with some fruit trees in it. She picked a few bananas off a tree, handed two to me, and started peeling one.

We ate in silence for a few minutes before she said, "I'm sorry for jinxing you. I was on a hair trigger, and my foot hurt…anyway, I'm sorry." She held out her hand, and I shook it.

"So…any idea about which way to go?" I asked.

"Uhm…not really" she replied, looking around. "But I figure we can go the direction we were facing when we dropped in."

"Or…we could just…Apparate there" I said slowly.

"You mean, I'll Apparate, and you'll just be along for the ride," she said tiredly. "But seeing as how it's just about our only option…fine. But you owe me a drink. I'm going to need it."

She held out her arm, and I felt the vise-like sensation sweep over me.

As our not-so-great luck would have it, we Apparated 10 miles south of New Delhi, and had to walk the entire way because Miranda was too tired to Apparate again. When we finally reached the city gates, I bought us drinks, and then we started looking around for 'Punjab'. But by the time night had fallen, most of the crowd had disappeared, and no one was wearing blue robes. So we found a room at the nearest inn, but let me tell ya, we weren't too impressed. There was one bed, a bathroom, a T.V., and a phone. That was it. We looked at each other, and we were thinking the same thing: Magical Makeover.

And within minutes, we both had comfortable beds, the shower had 6 jets and an adjustable head, and we both had a meal we liked.

"Gotta love the wand," she murmured from her bed. "I'm this close to falling asleep."

"Yeah, I know what you mean" I replied. "I didn't even do the Apparating, and I'm beat."

This didn't get the chuckle I had expected, so I looked over at her, and wasn't really surprised to find her fast asleep, her mouth slightly open. I lifted the tray off of her, then went to my own bed and was asleep within 5 minutes.

When I woke up the next morning, I had a slight heart attack before I realized that I was in New Delhi on a mission for The Council, and the chick in the bed next to me wasn't a hooker. She was the girl helping me out. Besides, (not that I would ever want to hire a hooker) she was the wrong sex.

Which is something Ms. Miranda didn't need to know until I was damn ready to tell her. A blonde, buff surfer boy would've been more my taste. Odd how opposites attract, isn't it?

"Hey, Miranda" I said, gently shaking her shoulder.

WHAM! Out of nowhere, her fist flew up and hit me in the face.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!" I hollered, hopping around, holding my nose.

"Oh my God, Harry, I'm sorry!" she shrieked, sitting bolt upright. "I sleep defensively, when someone touches me, I just…hit (or jinx) first and ask questions later."  
"So I noticed," I muttered dryly.

"Do you want me to fix it?" she asked worriedly, groping around for her wand.

"NO! I mean, no, thanks, I'll find a Medi Wizard," I said hastily.

She looked like she was about to cry. "I can't believe I did that!" she mumbled, sitting back down on her bed.  
"It's OK," I said, sitting next to her, eyeing her hands warily. "We just need to be a little less high-strung around each other, is all."  
"Or I need a sleeping potion", she muttered wearily.

"Well, come on, then", I said bracingly. "We'll get my nose fixed, and you can get that potion if you really want it."  
"OK", she said. "I'm gonna shower first, though, OK?"

"Sure. I'll get some breakfast. Pancakes all right?"

She nodded, smiled, and headed into the bathroom.

When Miranda cam out 15 minutes later (and here I thought girls took forever to shower), she looked much better, and was even in a talkative mood. Over pancakes, eggs, and bacon, she managed to turn breakfast into a Q & A. All about me, naturally.

"I know this may sound like a bitchy, invasive question, so don't answer if you don't want to", she said, finishing off her eggs. "I was just curious: Do you have any memories of your parents at all?"

I was taken aback a little by her bluntness, but decided to answer anyway. "Uhm" I said, casting my mind around. "Vague snatches, mostly, not many events or incidents."

She nodded, spearing her last piece of bacon. "That's understandable. After all, you were only a year old when…when they died." She trailed off, sounding almost embarrassed.

"Yeah", I said, not looking at her. I smiled then, suddenly remembering. "I do remember one thing, though. My mum's eyes-the ones she passed on to me, ya know? They were always full of love whenever they looked at me."

She nodded sympathetically. "You know…those eyes aren't like any shade of green I've ever seen before. Anywhere." She gazed thoughtfully at me. "Did you ever think maybe your ancestry isn't…wholly human?"

I blinked (A/N: No pun intended) a little stupidly. "Hmmm…" was really all I could think to say. "What do you mean…like a fairy, or something?"

"Or something", she said, sounding amused. "I was actually thinking more like a fey, or something."  
"A what?"

But before she could answer, there was a bang, a flash, and a cloud of purple smoke. A man wearing blue robes stepped out, waving the smoke away.

He looked at both of us. "About DAMN time!" he said.

A/N: Y'all love me, right? LOL! Of course…I hope. ((sweatdrop)) Anyways, on to my TWO shout outs:

**Saturday:** Dude, we NEED more in-denial Harry Potter fans like you. You are seriously awesome and a very faithful reviewer! So you get a gold star and some cookies! I plan to update all my Newsies stuff after graduation, so look for that, OK? Thanx for the review, love ya much!

**Lily Laurelinn: **Yes, it's kinda crazy, but ALL my work seems to follow that theme, so it's all good! LOL! Thanks for the review, I love ya!


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